| What'll It Take For You To See, I'm Just Not The Boy I Used To Be.... |
[16 Oct 2004|10:15am] |
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Nothing |
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well let's see. Yesterday sat around and did nothing until like 4. Then took bus to mall to meet up with Matt and Mike. Called my mom and asked for money. Then walked around until she got there. Then she gave us a ride to the carnival and we got tickets. The carnival sucked. Horrible. We rode like 2 rides and I got hungry so we walked like 2-3miles down to Mcdonalds. Fun walk I guess. At mcdonalds ate and matt and mike left and i thought they were outside but no they went to playplace. Then mike went to get refilll so we left and went to playplace and it took him awhile to find out how to get to the 3rd floor where we were. haha. I lodged a cheeseburger in the sterring wheel of some thing. I jsut threw it and it landed in it lol. Then we walked to the gas station across the street from the carnival and got flavored half in halfs and did shots with them. it's funny shit. They taste real good and are loaded with caffeine. So then we went to carnival. Did like the ship thing, the slide, some up and down circle thing then the ship again. Matt puked on the ride. I was liek sick the whole ride cause I had to look at him puking over the edge. sick shit but so funny. Then we went to Chicken Kitchen. Sat down. Mike called his mom to sleep over my dads, and dad isnt home all weekend. Then matt called his mom to pick us up. Went to Excerds. Matts mom got us.Dropped me and mike off at the mall. We took bus to my dads. And then hung out at my house. For some reason Ashley was being a bitch on the phone. She would just hang up or just be like bye out of fucking nowhere and just hang up. and wouldn't talk. Whatever. Then me and Mike popped in Saved. Funny ass religious movie. haha. She ran into JESUS!!! lol. Yeah so. Mike is still sleeping. I'm bored. Im done. Bye.
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| Note To Self: I miss you terribly.... |
[15 Oct 2004|01:10pm] |
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From First To Last - Note To Self |
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it's my time to grow up. And I've taken the first steps in doing so. I feel different but it's good I guess. so yeah. Today is carnival isf people will go. Ummm yeah. Not much to say so im a go. This was pretty much pointless but oh well.
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| All Hail The Heartbreaker....... |
[09 Oct 2004|02:00pm] |
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The Spill Canvas |
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ok so yesterday was great....went to movies...didnt see anything...i brought like a 16 oz bottle of a mix between vodka,rum,strawbeery daquiri, and whiskey, then 5oz of whiskey mixed with 7-up, then 4 oz of bicardi, and 6 oz of some weird melon liquor shit...out of all of that i did about over half of it...WOO! um..so yeah..go there...met up with richard, alex, stephanie, ashley, and people...went to chicken kitchen...go chop/chops then out some of the frinks in our drinks and brad and chewy came in...chilled..then after that we went to the dollar store and bought like toy guns and bows and arrows and bling bling! lol. had some fun..then we went into winn-dixie and bought rubbing alcohol and lit the street on fire...then timmy and ashley left and matt stay to watch me,richard and stephanie light a garbage can on fire..oh yeah..we got it on tape..then matt left...me,richard and stephanie decided to walk to walmart...so we did, i still had like 16 oz of alcohol on me and i had to get rid of it and i was throwing it away so drink drink drink i did! wee! good stuff! um then got to walmart...i was a litele WOO! and richard found it funny to psh me so id fall! stupid fag! oh well...um i dont remember what else..im sure we did alot more than that but i dont rememvber. sooooo bye...im not in a good mood right now....im sad and lonely and yet kno one seems to see that....oh welll...im sry im not as happy as i seem to be....
fuck the good riddance thing..ugh
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[09 Oct 2004|12:35am] |
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couplde words...i shouldnt have drank as much as i did tonight...hahahahaha....Almost 30 oz of pure alcohol= WOO WEE! hehehehe....ill update fully tmowrow caue iumm ii wikll...
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| You can hold my heart, it's yours to do what you want.... |
[06 Oct 2004|09:35pm] |
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today
school
throwing stuff at lunch
emptying bookbags
other stupid shit
afterschool
my house with matt tim and mike
lighting fires
playing music
acting like idiots in my house
bus to mcdonalds
siging wheels on the bus and stuff
mcdonalds
filling shopping cart at winn-dixie
scanning items and then just walking away
tim's stupid attempt to take some cowboy hat...lmao
walking to matts in rain
hanging in matts garage
my dad forgetting about HHN's and ruining matts 1% chance of a yes
thats pretty much it
oh and getting my dad to say more than come on jarrett in the car ride to tim's
survey thing time!!! wooo
Basic Survey [ 87 questions] | Created by PinkEtnies and taken 9881 times on bzoink! | | ** basics ** | | Name: | Jarrett | | Nickname: | Jay Jay | | Location: | Pembroke Pines, Florida | | Gender: | Male | | Birthplace: | Miami | | Birthstone: | I dunno | | Birthday: | March 6th, 1989 | | Sign: | Piecies | | Righty or Lefty: | Righty | | Screenname: | xSensesxXxFailxz | | ** your looks ** | | Height: | 5ft 9in | | Weight: | 125lbs | | Shoe size: | 11 | | Hair Color: | Dirty Blonde | | Hair Length: | Medium | | Eye Color: | Blue | | Size: | of??? | | Glasses: | haha stupid ones | | Braces: | nope | | Piercings: | nope | | Tattoos: | nope | | ** fashion ** | | Where do you shop: | Hot Topic, Pac Sun, Spencers, onlien and stuff | | What do you usually wear: | Band shirts and skate shirts | | What kind of shoes do you wear: | DC's and Vans | | Do you wear a watch: | sometimes | | Color you never wear: | purple? | | Color you wear at least once a week: | pink | | Something you wear everyday: | underwear | | Do you wear make up everyday: | noooooo | | Make up essential: | ??? | | Most cherished piece of clothing: | shirt signed by a7x, matchbook, FM, rufio and Motion city soundtrack | | You wouldn't be caught dead wearing: | hmmmmm | | Do you wear belts: | yes | | Do you wear hats: | rarely | | How many pairs of shoes do you have: | liek 10 | | ** music ** | | Favorite kind of music: | Screamo/Emo | | Least Favorite: | Country | | How many CD's do you have: | over 900 | | Last CD you bought: | Senses Fail - From Depths Of Dreams [EP] | | Whats in your CD player right now: | The Used | | Do you download music: | yes | | ** Favorites ** | | Color: | Blue | | Number: | 7 | | Season: | Winter | | Ice cream: | Cookie Dough | | Website: | any porn site | | Quote: | "It takes a day to love someone, but a lifetime to forget" | | Store: | Hot Topic | | Band: | Senses Fail | | Singer: | Chris Carabba | | Rapper: | Eminem | | Group: | .....Senses Fail? | | Song: | All Hail The Heartbreaker - The Spill Canvas | | Movie: | Edward Scissorhands | | Actor: | Adam Sandler | | Actress: | Cameron Diaz | | Kind of movies: | Comedy/Horror | | Place to be: | anywhere with friends | | Time of day: | Night | | Clothing Brand: | band brand?? | | Animal: | Monkey | | Food: | Tacos | | Holiday: | My Birthday?? | | Shape: | ??? | | Restaraunt: | Bellantes | | Fast food place: | Taco Bell | | Boy's name: | Jay Jay Bitches!! i dunno | | Girl's name: | i dunno | | Word: | CUNT | | Month: | March durr my b-day | | Candy: | Skittles | | ** love and relationships ** | | Sexual Preference: | Female(Straight) | | Boyfriend or Girlfriend: | Nope | | Crush: | uhhh does still wanting your ex back count?? | | Do you believe in love at first sight: | of course | | What do you look for in a guy/girl: | personality, has to be good | | Best physical feature: | eyes | | Best hair color: | blonde | | Best eye color: | blue | | ** randoms ** | | Do you paint your nails: | no | | What color is your tooth brush: | white? | | What's on your desktop: | alot of stuff | | Do you like roller coasters: | love em | | Do you do drugs: | prescription!! | | Are you a virgin: | yes | | Do you have any pets: | no | | What time do you go to sleep: | like 1am | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
Good riddance to you....</3...a shattered heart across my chest...speaks clearly in your foreign tongue....
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[04 Oct 2004|10:27pm] |
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The Used - Poetic Tragedy |
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" This Tragedy (Not To Be Mistaken For Love) "
Sucker for the punch in the silver bowl
He sees his cup full of juice, almost to empty.
She's the sucker for the acoustic vocals
And he sings in electric key, not the right tune.
He goes away pretending to move along
His friends all sense his sadness, she can't see straight.
Her vision's been blinded by the guy across the class.
Every day she walks on by to pitch his ass, he whispers.
This is the end of everything beautiful.
To the shining of the sun and the glow of the moon.
It's half past midnight and his guitar's out of tune.
This is such a tragedy, not to be mistaken for love.
Everything crashes before his feet, the ground's so ugly.
Can't think of the words to describe the summer, winter so bleak.
Cracks the bottle on the sidewalk curb, cars jet over it in streets.
They pile on one another by packs of two to three-hundred.
He's pinned beneath the pickups left rear tire, life before his eyes.
He's happy once again in his life, it's because he's dying.
Rid of sadness, his prayers been answered, he's waited so long.
Now she's realized so much of what's lost of her in him. She sings.
You are the wick to my candle, placed upon the mantle.
You are the heat to my cold dreary winters. So sweet and right.
I couldn't realize just what you were until you were placed under stone, rock and dirt.
You are the gladness to my sadness and I am lost, alone, forever.
This is my tragedy, not to be mistaken for love.
He's in a coma, locked tightly among the hospital doors.
She's on the list of people to never visit. She cries.
As she sits and waits for him to awake if so, she thinks of how she'll tell him everything.
How he is her world and she's swore to kill herself as he moves his first inch of lip.
This is how you shoot without a single miss, romance's vivid bloody kiss.
With the lips to never touch to one another, a kiss upon the air they both breathe.
Yet she's not alive to breathe it. She's felt so much sadness, he's lost all gladness. He lived.
Happy for her feelings, hates that she has died, tylenol overdose, goodbye.
In heaven they both meet, he sings, in his first electric tune, so neat.
Hey there, I missed you for you were so much to me. I felt alone.
Glad you're here, now won't you hear me out. Don't apologize.
It was never you, it wasn't me, it was fate and we played it out.
Stay with me and I'll stay with you, no matter what god intends to do.
She has this to say to him for the first time, every word was true.
I love you, you are the oxygen I breathe. The bed that makes me sleep.
The stool that rest my feet. The only thing I ever need.
But sadly we can't try this over. Cause, I still like the boy in class.
I just never got my chance to ask, I'm unfulfilled, I'll widow alone forever.
This is such a tragedy, played out by what their heart called love.
He's alone.
She is lonely.
They never meet again.
This is never how the story ends...
Good riddance to you....</3...a shattered heart across my chest...speaks clearly in your foreign tongue...
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[02 Oct 2004|06:48pm] |
I hate to do this but...on other thoughts..i dont hate to do this..fine with me...
FRIENDS ONLY
comment to be added
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| Yeah, cause I'm ridiculous like that.... |
[02 Oct 2004|12:06am] |
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Riddlin` Kids - I Feel Fine |
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well today..from start to finish...IN BULLETS!! OH YEAH!!
- Morning just hung out like usual while Skids said I could cut my wrist with a rubber band...stupid cunt...
- 1st Hour just did like nothing but played Pocket Tanks with Jessica..fun stuff!
- 2nd Hour watched Fahrenheit 451 and somebody left a pillow in the class so I used it and put marker all over Denise and drew retarded people on my arm..fun!
- 3rd hour same old boring shit
- Lunch was a food fight between that table with Jen and people and us and Timmy hit some random girl in the headwith a bottle..lmao. tff. And faggot Ass kissed my hand 25cents. fucking faggot! haha.
- 4th hour was a test..so flunked that shit...out teacher's a moron...almost as dumb as Skids...and thats pretty fucking dumb!
- Movies!!! ahhhh so good!!!! one of funnest nights!!
ok off of the bullets they're bothering me. ok so when we got there I had a bottle full of some fucked up mixture of stuff to have donovan's stupid ass drink. It had Vodka,Pepsi,Yoo-Hoo,Fruit Punch,Kool-Aid,Water, and Lime. Then I had another bottle with Vodka and Rum. Then 2 shot bottles of scotch-whiskey for us to do in the movies so that people behind us would be like wtf!?! haha. It was Me, Tim, Donovan, Ashley, Devon or Devin, and Joey. We see Shark Tale. Ashley is the first to drink some of the fucked up mixture..the first sip taste good but then it tastes like ass afterwards. then donovan, then joey, then ashley takes some more. skanky bitch! haha. i knew she was a man! haha jk. Then donovan took half the shot of whiskey scotch shit and almost puked and im like AHHHHH!! not on me! and then joey it like freaking out when he takes it! it was funny! it was old I guess cause it tasted fine it just burnt more than I remember. so yeah. that was fun. put gum on tims seat and his stupid ass sat in it. then poured some of the scotch in joey's hair. lmao. great. then movie ended. went out back. played with fire! then we went to front of regal. donovan made himself puke. then we went to chicken kitchen! hey hey hey hey!! they have a teriakyi Chop/Chop!! hey what about the Mexican Chop/Chop or or or the Oriental Chop/Chop or Double Breast Plate!! or Chop/Chop In A Bowl!!! oh yeah!! David's mom found me annoying!! WEE!! haha. Hello Edward! lmfao! tim!! haha! then met up with Rachel(or however you spell it)l. Went and did shopping carts and I did the rest of the shots and we had a gay gangbangs and rachel took pictures and joey jumped over a shopping cart. um then went to taco bell...donovan left earlier. played in playplace..tim says he thinks there was shit in there! I think Skids paid it a visit! ran into Alexis!!!! oh yeah! why does she not look happy at all the whole day?! hmmm....then ran around through the drive thru waving at people as they stared at us liek we were dumbasses and then i tripped myself and i have this big bump on my ass! oh yeah! sexay! then more fucking around.. went back towards winn-dixie..had fun with cups of soda! woop! then my dad got me and tim and we left. and now im here....great night. the nights need to be like this more often. it's funny watching donovan drink!! lmao. i need to have him do that more often. haha. anywayz....thats it..this entry is way too long so im done....
Good riddance to you....</3....a shattered heart across my chest speaks clearly in your foreign tongue....
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| The letters and the phone calls decrease.... |
[30 Sep 2004|05:24pm] |
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Amber Red - Running Red Lights |
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"Always, Anyway"
You like to speak, I like to dream
You like to learn, I like to teach
You're so cool, I am emotional
I like to sit and rest, you like to play
I hate to see myself this way
I dream of the stars, you think of the moon
You accept the sun for what it is
I just curse it and push it away
You have no idea how I feel right now
But I love you nonetheless, either way
One day I'll be with you, one day
I love you anyways, yeah I love you anyways
With you years seem like days, to me they seem like tears
You like to dance, I like to sing
You dream in parts, I dream in whole
I don't complete what I need to do
You just go and do what you need to do
You have no idea how I feel right now
I have no clue what you need from me
Turn my frown upside down, I need it
You need me, I need you, so why wait?
But, I love you anyways, yeah anyways
Do you know the truth behind the tears?
I like you, I hate me, Do you see,
Just how much you completed me?
You left me and now I'm unfinished
But I love you anyways, yeah I love you anyways
Always, pretend for me that you do too.
You don't know what's wrong from right
I don't know what's wrong for you.
Help me understand why the ocean's blue.
Help me to see through to you.
I love you always, so pretend you do too.
today was a great day of school. Me, Tim, Matt and Donovan all wore hoodies to pretend like we were cutters and we go and hang out by Megan. Tim gets a post it and writes I CUT on it and we all follow suit. Funniest shit. lmao. Then tim put I'm nothing to anybody? and I put I'm a worthless pile of cow shit and matt put I wanna die! and donovan I love razors! lmao. tff! then in first hour..finished music video. the class loves ours but the girls in our group think we're retarded for how we made it but fuck them..they did none of the work. they can suck my cock! literally. second hour. test and essay. boring. 3rd.boring. lunch. lmfao! too great. again hang around megan and then we take Avery's football and run around playing with it and i tackle Matt and now we all have dirt all on our pants. Then we sit at ( i think her names Ashley or something) but yeah we sit at their table and joke around. then get food. and i say to matt...how can you eat spagetti knowing you're just going todie tomorrow and he like ahh and spits in it. roflmfaocttff!!! hahaha. then more of the above joking around acting all emo and depressive. then 4th. did half of the work in class and then played pocket tanks with Richard and Jake for rest of period. that is all.
Good riddance to you....</3.....a shattered heart across my chest speaks clearly in your foreign tongue....
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| You're my everything.... |
[29 Sep 2004|10:31pm] |
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The Spill Canvas - All Hail The Heartbreaker |
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umm lets see..yesterday...
in morning did post-it notes all over place...1st..started filming music video..2nd..shannon came into my class..we had sub...some fat guy..didnt do anything...we all just cracked jokes and played with random black kid Andre's hand lotion and shannon and denise were afraid of getting it on them...what wimps! haha..then 3rd hour...usual gayness. lunch..fun as hell..post it notes everywhere and putting out screen names on them and passing them out to random people..lol..nobody has IMed any of us yet i dont think....oh well..was still fun..4th..same...write notes on the post-its to Alexis and Dianne..that was fun..i guess..then afterschool was DECA...that was cool...afterwards we foudn it apparent that some people really dont enjoy ringtones..especially matt's cat one..lol...
today...much boringier....or however you spell it. morning. pretty stupid. donovan is a dumbass. 1st hour. more work on music video.2nd hour. mr.turner was back..we read. bore..3rd..bore..lunch..why is this stuck to my head? lmao. if you love the cock pick me up(on a tray ppl were obviously going to pick up) lol. we have no life. 4th..slept almost all perios. occasional try to do what the class is working on but too much work so go back to sleep....and thats about it...im bored...
Things to piss people off
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dick nose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the f*cking ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you f*cking pulled me over.
When people say "Life is short." What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What? Are they going to f*cking do something that's longer?
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!
good riddance to you.....</3....a shattered heart across my chest speaks clearly in your foreign tongue....
thats my new way to end every post from now on...isn't it cool? you know!!
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[28 Sep 2004|12:11am] |
ok ok ok ok time to go emo here...if you dont want to read and have shit to say..then dont bother reading or commenting..otherwise heres my post...
one phrase= my life sucks, kill me!
yeah....im still in love with a girl I can never get back, my mom is beyond my limit of hate and im going to juvi and shes transferring me to mcarthur and im going to do my best to no longer be known as her son...she doesn't deserve a son..that fucking little piece of shit god made in his free time cause he had nothing better to do..i think megan is actually better than my mom...i thought i couldn't shit anything worse than her but then my mom goes ahead and for 5 hours goes on my sn..invading my privacy and reading every last thing i say and othersaid..beleive me...i made sure she read what she wanted to see..me say what i think aobut her...skank bitch..shes got what...6ppl on her buddy list adn 2 of them are my sn and 1 is mikes and 1 hs moms(who she doesnt know..just has it to contact her when shes online and mike needs to get through to her)..everyone hates my mom..nobody can stand the bitch and i dont blame them...anywayz...yeah...my lifes at its all time low and i dont give a shit...ill walk in front of an ongoing car and not care if it hits me or not...if it hits..oh well..if it doesnt...go back and try again...thats all i can say...ive been told to get serious by someone and they kno who..well heres about as serious as im gonna get right now...do you like my serious side? i dont think you do....you wont see me smiling right now...but you also wont see me in the bathroom with a blade to my wrist cause that's just stupid..and im not stupid...i mean things to people...i need a new mom...any takers? i need someone to hold and just be together with...any takers? im lonely...i miss the good thing i had...the thing i threw away. you've forgotten what i was to you and i care even if i act like i dont...i write saying ill never change but seriously look at me now compared to a the times we were together...im different...and you taught me it....you can either help me forget the changes or help me learn more...you pick..im done..its over..im finished...
good riddance...im just not okay!</b>
"There Is"
This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
that there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is
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[27 Sep 2004|11:21pm] |
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Blood For Blood - Fuck You |
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hey just letting everyone know they cant call my cell on account i just threw it half way across the house and its not exactly looking well
its official...ive never wanted to crack my moms skulls across the pavement more then now...ill begoing to juvi most likely and then file for seperation from her cause i dont want to be known as her son anymore....i hope her stupid as reads this...she can go straight to hell and burn....good riddance...
on a lighter note...ummm there is no lighter note..im pissed beyond pissed....
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| I hate what you've become, I can't stand it, I can't bare it, to see you look this bruised.... |
[26 Sep 2004|11:26pm] |
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Unwanted Superheroes - Long Nights In Winterhaven |
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USH=GOD!
amazing...
Little Haiti....never go there for any other reason than to see a show. Man that place is creepy to walk the streets. Well the show turned out to be a 18 or older show so at first we weren't going in but then Alexis came over and then Kevin, who she knew, came over and said he'd get us in. That dude rocks so much. So he gets us in and we chill and he buys us a pitcher of soda. Free drinks. so great. Then the bouncer guy tells us to leave the pub so we go and stand around Kevin. then over comes Brian, Bam and whoever else and they were getting kicked too. So we stand around and then finally we are let in. and this awful band goes on. Ugh, a horrible rip-off of Nirvana. So then Ush gets on. OHH SHIT! Amazing! one great show. I bought their Cd cause I've been meaning to buy it for awhile but I've always been broke but I had money tonight so I got it. Good stuff. So yeah that was my night. School tomorrow? yes indeed. sucks but what can you do? oh well. Well to watch some tv and listen to music and talk to people I go. laterz...
LMAO! i thought that was funny...
Don't wait for me to fall. Just kiss my lips and then let me slip....</3....a shattered heart across my chest...speaks clearly in your foreign tongue...
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| Tim has no life but is one cool mo`fuka!! |
[26 Sep 2004|03:48pm] |
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The Eagles - Hotel California |
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THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:35:51 PM): kill your family,Jarrett
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:02 PM): ok
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:36:17 PM): thats a good boy.
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:36:27 PM): tell them God said it was okay
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:31 PM): haha ok
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:36:47 PM): that Jesus needed you to
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:51 PM): alrighty
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:53 PM): will do
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:54 PM): lol
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:36:56 PM): who is this?
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:37:06 PM): <jesus
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:37:12 PM): hi jesus
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:37:18 PM): hello, Jarrett
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:37:31 PM): is it ok to kil you?
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:37:37 PM): kill*
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:37:43 PM): are you Jewish?
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:37:55 PM): if that'll get me a yes than yeah im jewish
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:37:58 PM): then yes
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:38:05 PM): woo hoo
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:38:24 PM): but please, dont smash my knee caps after you pound me to the cross
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:38:32 PM): i dont plan on running away if i get down
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:38:47 PM): lmao
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:38:49 PM): ill try not to
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:38:55 PM): Thank God
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:38:59 PM): no thank me
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:39:06 PM): i have the power to smash or not smash
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:39:17 PM): but God created everything.
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:39:21 PM): no i did
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:39:31 PM): without him you will not have life
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:39:43 PM): God is all around us,jay jay
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:39:45 PM): fuck
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:39:47 PM): JARRETT*
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:39:52 PM): lmao
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:40:02 PM): indeed he is
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:40:12 PM): but you're a little bitch jesus
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:40:27 PM): santa whoops your ass in snowball fights
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:40:33 PM): :-[
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:40:40 PM): cause of the holes in your hands
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:41:07 PM): the snow melts right through them
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:41:11 PM): God created ice for it to melt, with the hols in my hands it only goes away faster
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:41:15 PM): and satan is much better in bed than you
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:41:38 PM): thats because those fuckers thought it would b funny to nail my dick to a little cross
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:41:48 PM): true
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:41:56 PM): it's so small now
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:42:25 PM): my grandpa's dick while it's all shrivled up is like 10times bigger than yours
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:43:00 PM): My father had blesed your grandfather greatly
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:43:07 PM): he has
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:43:27 PM): Love me child.
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:43:35 PM): i dont
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:43:38 PM): for one reason
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:43:45 PM): you scream my name in very pathetic ways
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:44:00 PM): I love you child.
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:44:06 PM): show me love in return
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:44:16 PM): all love me but few get my love in return
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:44:27 PM): thy shall have to work for my love
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:44:34 PM): fine, you know what!?
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:44:38 PM): what
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:44:48 PM): im going to go sleep with my dad!
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:44:50 PM): and remember!
xSensesxXxFailxz (3:44:52 PM): awesome
THIS6is6JESUS6 (3:45:02 PM): Tim is one cool mother fucker!
THIS6is6JESUS6 signed off at 3:45:05 PM.
LOVE JESUS BITCHES!
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| I'm Not Okay.... |
[25 Sep 2004|09:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Used - Take It Away |
] |
I'm not okay but coudl you care?
A story written then burned in flames.
I'm in a plane and I'm flying far away, where I go I don't have a clue.
And the weather's getting worse and the wings begin to shake.
I get one call on my cell and I decide not to call to you.
As the wings connected to the engine break into the sea.
I call the only person that cares for me in return.
I should of took a trip to her, instead I went nowhere.
Now i'm heading for the rocks at the bottom of the ocean.
And I've lost the life I lead. Fare well girl, goodbye.
You think you mean just nothing to the world.
But, what you don;t realize is, you mean the world to me.
But you jsut couldn't see, jsut cheap shots and bottle rockets.
You were blidn to the naked truth and lied.
Well I decided to counterstrike and die....
today sucks. this weekend will suck. No Battle Of The Bands tomorrow most likely. ugh. I hate the weather here. I'm a little down. I need my Shaun of the Dead to finish downloading so I can watch it and get a few laughs. Until then, boredom and sadness. Oh well. this was pointless and so am I.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9.Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
10.When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its bac on you, you most likely turned your back on the world.
Good riddance to you....</3...a heart shattered across my chest...
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| Say you will pretend to care.... |
[25 Sep 2004|12:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance |
] |
"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
stupid ass hurricane! go wipe out the islands or some shit. get away from here. I don't want to waste my weekend in a fucking house. ugh. this is getting to be a bitch. one every fucking week or so. So gay. well im bored. and i have no way now of getting unbored cause i'll be inside until this thing finally gets over us. it hasnt even gotten here and places are closign cause everyone is scared of the oh so big bad hurricane. pfft. i'll walk around in it. so yeah. mabe the mall is open for this afternoon or something and ill quickly go do something and then time for the boredom to begin. i gotta get my acoustic guitar from my mom's house before this hurricane. otherwise i'll go insane. especially cause my dad has satellite and if the power goes out i have to do candles and acoustic guitar. No way can i go without that. it's tradition. haha. oh well. this entry was pointless yet, so is all of this crap going on so we're even.
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| You're lovely baby, this war is crazy, I won't let you down oh no no no |
[24 Sep 2004|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Say Anything - Alive With The Glory Of Love |
] |
today ok ummm...1st: took test then went to library and played Pocket Tanks...i won 1 game of 5..lol...then 2nd was surf...didnt read shit..was jst drawing and coloring stuff with markers and stuff...3rd: as usual..did nothing...we watched some video on hurricanes..it was pretty cool actually...500,000 asian ppl died in like 1900..haha...i thought that was funny...lunch...JOIN THE ASIAN CLUB! you dont have to be asian! haha...to funny...4th...our new teachers a moron..Alexis: " I can teach better than this teacher" and its so true. hes an idiot...then matt came home on my bus and we stuck firecrackers in mailboxes and in my neighbors cheap ass civic's exhaust pipe..lmao..tff..ten movies..we left donovan and saw the forgotten..was funny...stupid but funny...then i "borrowed" handcuffs and a slinkie..haha..i like that term.."borrowed" lol. Then here i am...bored..tired..dont know what's happening tomorrow...shall see...laterz!
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| Tonight I will sleep with the gun in my mouth.... |
[21 Sep 2004|05:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Letter Kills - Lights Out |
] |
" Failure By A Will To Live "
Now I'll tell you an epic so close to rational that you'll begin to cry.
A story of two short term lovers who never wanted to speak the truths.
A diamond ring cuts the reflection of their summer picture memories.
A boy not but a few months older than me and you, he fell quite in love.
He thought he'd found an angel and she was everything he ever loved.
Pictured to be the cutest couple, a winner in my yearbook.
But hidden underneath everything everyone saw, the ties between the two were weak.
Never hanging with the same friends nor together any chance they could.
But still the boy would do anything his lover wanted if he could.
A hand wrapped across her neck to make him feel alive for the first time.
A broken heart lies at the end of the newsprint and they got lost by distance.
One months passes and love stops to be ceased and they meet again, so happy.
Yeah so happy, I could of pictured the moment forever. Artwork for my special gallery.
He couldn't sleep, he couldn't dream, all he visioned was a tragic ending.
Weeks go by and the nightmares come back time and time again.
Picture this, him lying by the bathroom sink, water running, purely red at the fingertips.
The string that held the two together with a foot of slack, has given in and let loose.
Now he whispers to himself at night, as he sleeps with gun in mouth, I hate you for this.
He never really meant it, he really hates himself. Why can't he grow up to please her?
Car crashes happen pretty often now and he never follows through to death.
Part of him wants her back and she's his only will to live.
Hair spray, eyelashes of the cutest color.
He can't believe he didn't see in sooner.
They were falling apart and he could stop it.
But, he sat back waiting for it all to cease.
This was failure by his own will.
Now his heart is for lease.
Girl not yet but just fifteen. She was sweet in the voice and beautiful at the lips.
She was everything he hoped for, his every waking dream. She even had the pluses he couldn't dream.
Different morals but he never seemed to care. She just lived life without a single care.
Only one care and that was her love for the boy. Now she has nothing and is dazed and confused.
She'll never understand how he can go on living when she doesn't speak the truths.
Never even gave the real reason of how they fell apart at the heart.
She says she still loves him and he needs to grow up.
Teach him to grow and teach him to love. Cause he's lost all he's learned.
He's now just a retard with a pen and some paper, scribbling his every thought.
Help him to recover what once was lost and you'll see in the end, it's a happy ending.
Until then, breath in cyanide and let it sink to your lungs.
When you fell the pulse cut off and your lungs collapse, it's the moment of grief.
A moment in which brings hope to an end, from over-exposure to sun. He's done.
Lipstick, who needs it, she was beautiful always.
He never saw it until he last what was had.
Now he mourns every thought and crys every night.
Hoping that one day, she'll return to stay.
This was failure by his own will.
Now for the story of me.
You've just read, in split proportions.
I was the boy and she was the girl.
I long to be, long for you.
I need you.
I miss you.
When I kiss you.
I love you.
I do, oh girl, you know it's so true....
I have so much I want to say and do but I don't know what'll come of it all...ugh
" The Diamond Ring " - Adair
I'll peel back the skin from my head
Let the sun melt you from my memory
I'll drink myself to sleep and escape
The nightmares of being awake.
I'll set the air afire.
You never even tried to tell me
What went wrong, what went wrong.
In this train wreck that we built together
What went wrong, what went wrong.
Under shaking skin, underneath it all.
Kill me from within. Kill me, kill me.
You said always.
Say you will, pretend to care.
Say you will be there
Always.
Say you will, pretend to care.
Say you will be there
Always.
Steal my breath, taint the air.
Every bone in my body's been broken
And my life is a jaw wired shut,
My voice is my curse and my shelter from the pain
And I'm breathing carbon just to fall
Asleep at night. Asleep at night.
In this train wreck that we built together
Nothing's right, nothing's right.
I'm teething.
I'm cutting gums for the first time.
Under shaking skin, underneath it all.
Kill me from within. Kill me, kill me.
You said always.
Say you will, pretend to care.
Say you will be there
Always.
Say you will, pretend to care.
Say you will be there
You said always.
You're stabbing my heart.
Broken hearts, broken doors.
Dying on a hotel floor.
Because of a small black box you couldn't receive.
I'll drive you home tomorrow in silence. My sister will return it.
This is the end of the summer, and the beginnings of the fall.
You'll leave me two months later. In an airport goodbye.
And as the weeks go on the letters and the phone calls decrease.
Ah, to fade from memory.
So keep the punches coming:
left,right,right,left,left.
Kick the throat you used to kiss.
Push face into concrete.
A smile, a giant fist.
The bloody face of bliss.
And as I gasp for my last breath,
I crawl back into your perfect poison arms.
So today was not good. I didn't enjoy much of it. I'm really down lately and I just don't feel alive. Oh well that's the way life is. Deal with it. So first hour filmed stupid shit that was just a fucking waste of time. I didn't even get to pick my group. I get 2 ghetto kids that do nothing. They can't even work a fucking camera. So stupid. 2nd hour. Ok. Just made stupid comments the entire period with Denise and this kid that sits by us. It was fun I guess. We had some indian sub that would scratch her nipples every like 5minutes. It was sick. 3rd hour. gay like always. I fucking hate this class. I want Doc. I'd kill to be in Doc's class. He's the greatest. He comes in my class sometimes. So great. He's so amazing. Never a dull moment with him. I have him next semester so it's all good I guess. Then lunch, not too great, Other than the throwing cookies at Megan and writing M.A..T.S. V2 on people's hands and me writing I <3 8----- haha. 4th hour. Slept first 30mins. Talked with Alexis. Who was wrong and I was right. Go me! yeah! I'm always right. The lyrics were what I said they were and the show is cancelled. I'm so the greatest. lol. Then here and some other chick scratched out band names on my bookbag that they thought sucked. They scratched off alot I would agree with. But they got rid of Smile Empty Soul...hell no! oh well. It's washable marker and not like I care. So it's all good. Now I'm here bored, down, wishing I was somewhere other than here. I hate my life here. I want to be near people that actually care about me and show it. There's only about 2 people that do that. They know who they are. I can't wait to be 18. California here I come. Aww man I'm going to love it there. Tahoe! so awesome. I love Lake Tahoe to death. so great. My paradise. Until then I'll have to live with what's going on. Oh well. I need to grow up but how? Explain to me and I'll follow to the best I can....I swear. Well this is getting to be an extremely long entry so I'm going to end it now.
Leave comments to make me feel cool...
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| With my overanxious hands cupping your cherub face....how does it feel? |
[20 Sep 2004|11:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Spill Canvas - The Tide |
] |
And there's three, count 'em three
children playing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach
There's Veronica
She's biting her lip
as she watches the waves turn white at the tip
And there's Vada
Radiating with joy
and luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy
And lastly there's Dade
His hair dances in the wind
and he's wondering what love is
And why it has to end
And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly...
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now
And there's three, count 'em three
children growing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach
There's Veronica
She's licking her lips
as she waits for her real, first passionate kiss
And there's Vada
Can't admit her jealousy
of her sister Veronica, and how she's so pretty (and how she's so pretty)
Lastly there's Dade
Still sitting on the dock
Ponders his life, and he skips his rocks
And he wonders when his father will return
but he's not coming back
And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly...
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard (forget everything)
And there's three, count 'em three
children missing from the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach
But the sad thing
is that they never lived passed the age of fifteen
due to neglect from their mother
Who was bed ridden by her ex-lover, their father
She didn't even notice, or pay much attention
as the tide came in and swept her three into the ocean
Now all her advice, it seems useless
No, heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you touch her and you feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love's completely real, so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now.
blah...im not happy....the end
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